Actuation

21-Jul-17
Mike B

Please Note: My review focuses SOLELY on the couples aspect of Elizabeth's business. While I have had a few 1-on-1 appointments, they were in the context of couples therapy therefore I cannot comment on Elizabeth as a 1-on-1 therapist in any way. Also, my review does NOT focus on outcome. I don't believe therapists are responsible for outcome (and my personal outcome is still ongoing so there isn't one to review yet) as I believe they are guides to help set a path and assist. If you go to therapy to stop drinking and keep drinking even though your therapist provided every item needed to assist, I am more of a "that's on you" type of person.

A little less than a year ago, my wife and I were seeking out help dealing with marriage issues we had and were basically stalemated on. After reviewing a multitude of options in our area, we chose to seek out help from Elizabeth Stadtlander based on her advertised methods, focus on communication, and other factors. Our initial impressions were VERY positive. Elizabeth will drill down to issues quickly, call you out if she thinks you aren't quite being honest, and challenge you. This was perfect for our situation on both sides (my wife and I.) After a few months, issues arose that dictated my wife had to work on a few things herself before we could make any more progress.

To facilitate this, Elizabeth helped construct a path for the three of us that meant my wife would see Elizabeth by herself for a period of time that Elizabeth expressed to both of us as "months if not a year." We would still be in couples therapy, Elizabeth would reach out herself or through my wife if something came up that I should come in, and I was free to come in either with my wife or request an appointment of my own if needed. This was described by Elizabeth as me making "cameos" as needed. Since trust was a huge issue in what we were going through, we maintained couples therapy status and confidentiality was between the three of us (i.e. my wife was free to hear about things I said if I met with Elizabeth alone and vice versa.) My wife and I also separated (after a fair amount of financial planning) based on the advice of Elizabeth (which was advice I also agreed with based on the situation.)

My wife continued to see Elizabeth individually, my wife and I would talk about each of her appointments, I would ask if I needed to come in for anything (and was always told not yet,) and we continued on our path.

After about 4 months of this path, I reached out to Elizabeth to ask if I could come in for an appointment. It had now been about 1/3 of the "year" she had expressed and I wanted to catch up with her and talk about my side of the separation and things.

A long story short, and after multiple emails back and forth, Elizabeth advised she would not see me as she believed her relationship with my wife had changed to individual therapy due to me not reaching out or attending. I expressed all of the above and confusion over this status as not only did this discharge me, but also altered my wife's own therapy as she still was progressing under the plan of us being treated as a couple, as well.

Not only had this status changed with no notice, but so had confidentiality between the three of us. Again, these changes were made by Elizabeth with no request from my wife or I to do so, and (in my opinion, even worse) with no communication to EITHER my wife nor I.

In short, and in my opinion, with communication being an advertised focus of Elizabeth's, both my wife and I were quite dumbfounded by the status changes, why they were made, and why they weren't communicated. What we thought was a good start for some help, turned into an issue that impacted already frayed trust.

I would not recommend Elizabeth to friends or family seeking couples therapy.

13-Feb-17
Mike B

Please Note: My review focuses SOLELY on the couples aspect of Elizabeth's business. While I have had a few 1-on-1 appointments, they were in the context of couples therapy therefore I cannot comment on Elizabeth as a 1-on-1 therapist in any way. Also, my review does NOT focus on outcome. I don't believe therapists are responsible for outcome (and my personal outcome is still ongoing so there isn't one to review yet) as I believe they are guides to help set a path and assist. If you go to therapy to stop drinking and keep drinking even though your therapist provided every item needed to assist, I am more of a "that's on you" type of person.

A little less than a year ago, my wife and I were seeking out help dealing with marriage issues we had and were basically stalemated on. After reviewing a multitude of options in our area, we chose to seek out help from Elizabeth Stadtlander based on her advertised methods, focus on communication, and other factors. Our initial impressions were VERY positive. Elizabeth will drill down to issues quickly, call you out if she thinks you aren't quite being honest, and challenge you. This was perfect for our situation on both sides (my wife and I.) After a few months, issues arose that dictated my wife had to work on a few things herself before we could make any more progress.

To facilitate this, Elizabeth helped construct a path for the three of us that meant my wife would see Elizabeth by herself for a period of time that Elizabeth expressed to both of us as "months if not a year." We would still be in couples therapy, Elizabeth would reach out herself or through my wife if something came up that I should come in, and I was free to come in either with my wife or request an appointment of my own if needed. This was described by Elizabeth as me making "cameos" as needed. Since trust was a huge issue in what we were going through, we maintained couples therapy status and confidentiality was between the three of us (i.e. my wife was free to hear about things I said if I met with Elizabeth alone and vice versa.) My wife and I also separated (after a fair amount of financial planning) based on the advice of Elizabeth (which was advice I also agreed with based on the situation.)

My wife continued to see Elizabeth individually, my wife and I would talk about each of her appointments, I would ask if I needed to come in for anything (and was always told not yet,) and we continued on our path.

After about 4 months of this path, I reached out to Elizabeth to ask if I could come in for an appointment. It had now been about 1/3 of the "year" she had expressed and I wanted to catch up with her and talk about my side of the separation and things.

A long story short, and after multiple emails back and forth, Elizabeth advised she would not see me as she believed her relationship with my wife had changed to individual therapy due to me not reaching out or attending. I expressed all of the above and confusion over this status as not only did this discharge me, but also altered my wife's own therapy as she still was progressing under the plan of us being treated as a couple, as well.

Not only had this status changed with no notice, but so had confidentiality between the three of us. Again, these changes were made by Elizabeth with no request from my wife or I to do so, and (in my opinion, even worse) with no communication to EITHER my wife nor I.

In short, and in my opinion, with communication being an advertised focus of Elizabeth's, both my wife and I were quite dumbfounded by the status changes, why they were made, and why they weren't communicated. What we thought was a good start for some help, turned into an issue that impacted already frayed trust.

I would not recommend Elizabeth to friends or family seeking couples therapy.